


Over My Dead Body!

by Holyangelheart



Series: Please Don't Go Where I Can't Follow [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Past Abuse, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-24
Updated: 2015-01-24
Packaged: 2018-03-08 20:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3221843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holyangelheart/pseuds/Holyangelheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Childhood friend/ High school AU. Gon and Killua met in a weird way but became friends immediately, however after a few months, Killua suddenly moved away. Years later, Killua finally returns and once again, their lives can never be the same. Will their friendship continue from where they left off? Or perhaps they start over as something more. Either way, an old flame is rekindled. Part two of Please Don’t Go Where I Can’t Follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over My Dead Body!

Killua’s POV

You are the sun; you gleam so intensely that I must look away. You radiate heat and it rolls off of you in waves. You sparkle all on your own without the help of others and even when you’re at your lowest point in life, you still continue to shine bright.  


Am I worthy enough to stay by your side?  


However, I am like the moon. I have no light of my own and must always rely on your strength to live. I am forever in your shadow, but there’s a dark side of me that I would never ever show to you. Even if I wanted to, I just can’t. There’s a part of me that is so dark and cold that even your warmth can’t thaw my frozen soul.  


No, I don’t think so and I never will be.  


Gon you are the dazzling sun and I am the lonesome moon.  


Remember the day that we met? You were running with earphones in your ears, blasting music the entire way. You were training like you always do every morning, trying to show that you could become great like your dad who was nowhere to be found. Training for what exactly? Not even you knew at that point, but you saw pictures of his younger days in your attic and wanted to be fit like him. That day, I was practicing tricks on my skateboard, wanting to escape a contest so I could rebel against my parents. They don’t want me to skate; they think it’s a waste of time. We were so focused doing our own thing that we ended up crashing into each other. When we finally realized what happened, your face was so shocked and apparently so was mine, we couldn’t help but laugh.  


We were only 12 at the time, but I knew that our meeting was fate.  


You ended up convincing me to participate anyway and I actually started to take it seriously. It was a contest pitting two people against each other using different martial arts and you won every time but in your last match, you lost consciousness. You still turned out victorious since your opponent failed to comply with the rules. I, on the other hand, never got passed the semi-finals. My brother Illumi turned out to be in the contest as well and said some hateful things about you, knowing how it would affect me and in my next match; I did some illegal moves out of spite and was disqualified for sending my opponent to the hospital. Normally his taunting wouldn’t work, but for some reason this time it did.  


I changed a little once I met you and I don’t ever want to go back even after all the suffering we were subjected to.  


When my parents found out what I was doing, they made me return home. We live and actually own the mountain our house is on since the land has been passed down through each generation. No one ever goes far into the mountains because only those who live there know the path by memory, yet somehow you forged your way through like you always do. Once you finally got to my front door, you were covered in cuts and bruises. You had twigs in your hair and your clothes were so dirty that I knew you’d get into trouble by the Mito-san you always talk about. Your skin is always unblemished except for the occasional injury and your pretty sun spots from the constant playing you used to do before you moved here to Tokyo, or so I heard. I never saw you bleed so much before, the deep rich color of blood was wrong on you and it made me so afraid knowing I could have lost you.  


That was when I decided to never let you be drenched in the color red ever again. But everything I touch always turns to dust.

-x-x-

Once summer ended, we were going to the same school. The other kids started to bully you at first, but I always stepped in before anything bad happened, but rats never learn. I remember the day you threw a piece of chalk at them and stood up for me, that was when they finally started fearing you more than me.  


I never felt that way before; every time I’m with you I feel something new.  


The first time I went to your house, I was so surprised. Everything smelled of you and I couldn’t help but linger. We stayed up all night playing games and Mito-san’s cooking is the best I’ve ever had. Then the two of us got jobs to pay for this online game that I really wanted to buy because I heard that your dad might have had a hand in the making of it. I would normally use cheat codes or online forums to pass through a difficult game, but because it was your first real play through of it, I wanted everything to be done right. I didn’t want to interfere too much, even if you weren’t so stubborn and asked me for help. You took control like always and never cut any corners. It took us a month to finally reach the end credits, you cried with happiness. It was the best game I ever played…and I knew it was because I got to play it with you.

-x-x-

“Oi, Gon!” Killua called after the spikey haired boy from down the hall, but the boy was preoccupied while looking outside the windows, staring absently into the vast sky. He tried calling for him again, but two students from another class walked up to Gon, changing his focus onto them. “He’s become really popular lately,” he grumbled a little under his breath. “Not that it bothers me, of course,” he corrected himself.  


After everyone realized how athletic Gon was, they started asking for his help in various sports because he was great at pretty much everything. In return, they would help him study since he sucks at studying. He didn’t understand why Gon couldn’t ask him for help instead, he gets good grades without even trying that hard.  


Finally, the students left and as Gon waved them goodbye, he noticed Killua and skipped towards him looking as happy as he always is. “Killua~!” Gon grinned from ear to ear, “Guess what?”  


Killua rolled his eyes, but smiled slightly, “What?”  


Gon pouted, “You have to guess.”  


He shrugged, “You decided to help out another team again?”  


“Well you’re not wrong, but that’s not it. Guess again!”  


“Jeez Gon, I can’t always know what’s going through your head. Just tell me.”  


Sighing, Gon grabbed his phone from his butt pocket and showed him the screen, displaying a text message. “Remember my dad’s friend Kite that we met before?”  


Killua nodded while memorizing the text from Mito-san about it, he remembered all the important people to Gon naturally. “Yeah and?”  


“He’s coming to Tokyo this weekend and is staying with us for a week! I might get to hear stories about my dad!” Gon’s eyes shined so brightly that Killua felt compelled to rub his head.  


“That’s great,” he smiled, though on the inside he was a little bitter. How can Kite visit but now his own dad? “Sure my dad is barely ever home, but it’s not like I want to see him.”  


“Hehe,” Gon scratched his cheek, his tongue sticking out a little. “Do you want to stay over too?!” His smile grew even more, “We can have another sleepover!”  


Killua smiled, “You know I-,” he felt as if he was on cloud nine because Gon thought to consider him, but he shook his head, “Sorry Gon but I have things to do.” Besides, if Killua’s there, then the conversations might not be as detailed, “I can’t stand between you and your dad.”  


Gon frowned, his happy mood disappearing immediately.  


Sighing, Killua patted his friend’s back, “But you can tell me all about it, alright?”  


Now Gon was jumping up and down, estatic about the weekend, “We’re going to go fishing and maybe even hiking or something! This is going to be so much fun!”  


“Make sure to listen well then, okay?” Killua couldn’t keep his eyes off of Gon. As long as Gon’s happy, he is too.  


“Mhm!” Gon skipped all the way back to class with a grinning Killua behind him.  


That week, Gon rambled on and on for hours relaying everything that Kite would tell him about his adventures around the world and how Ging, Gon’s dad was the reason he was even alive. Throughout it all, Killua would sit silently and listen intently. He focused not only on the words come out of his friend’s mouth, but the way his lips moved as he pronounced every syllable. How Gon’s rich brown eyes would shimmer in the light more than usual. How he used hand motions he never saw him use before. This Gon in front of him was different and although he felt a little sad that it was a side that never appeared because of him, he was content knowing that the angel before him could become even more angelic than before.  


Soon, the time of Kite’s departure was coming closer, Gon invited Kite to watch him substitute for a baseball member. He was so overjoyed when he agreed that he was practically bouncing off the walls. Killua could have sworn that Gon saw Kite as a replacement for his own father and that he was having the time of his life. If only everyday could be so peaceful. Killua would trade anything for it, even his own happiness.

-x-x-

“Killua…”  
Killua didn’t look up as he heard his brother’s voice from behind him as he sat on the couch at the Zoldyck mansion. “What is it Illumi?”  


“You’re never home these days, mother is getting lonely.”  


He scoffed, “She’s barely home anyway I don’t see why it matters that I’m not here.”  


“It does matter and you should care too.”  


“Pfft!” He laughed as he skimmed through the channels, clearly being disrespectful. “And why is that?”  


“We’re moving.”  


“Haha,” Killua laughed mockingly now, but turned away from the TV.  


“I’m not joking.”  


“Why?” Killua sprung up from the couch. “We haven’t had to move since I was born!”  


“Mother doesn’t want you to be with that Gon of yours, she thinks he’s dangerous.”  


Now he knew Illumi was being ridiculous, “He’s dangerous? I’m the dangerous one!”  


“Mother told me to separate you from him even if I need to use force Killua. That’s how serious this is.”  


Killua bared his fangs, “If you dare touch him I will slaughter you.”  


“I wouldn’t mind seeing you try; that is if you can.” Illumi smirked a little, “Your relationship is going to end anyway, whether it’s sooner rather than later is irrelevant.”  


“If you don’t come, then someone else will throw out the trash for us.”  


“Don’t you dare give that order-,” Killua swung at him, but his brother was able to dodge it easily,  


“I don’t see why you like him anyway, he’s weak. He’s only extra baggage anyway and you know how mother and father feel when things get in their way.”  


“He’s not baggage! He’s my friend!”  


Illumi scoffed, “But Killua…you don’t have any friends.” He snickered at his reaction and turned around, “Either way you have until the day after tomorrow to come to a decision Killua…if not I will deal with the trash myself.” He returned to his room deep inside the mansion while Killua spent all night on edge.  


“Don’t worry Gon, I will protect you…no matter how dirty I have to get my hands to do it.”

-x-x-

The next day, Killua watched the baseball game, trying not to feel anxious about what happened the night before, but he couldn’t help feeling so proud. It was the first time he ever got to see the sport live and he was so excited for it to be with Gon on the team. He cheered loudly for his school to win, but more importantly: for Gon to win. He made sure to keep his phone on vibrate so it wouldn’t disrupt Gon’s concentration in case it somehow rung when he’s up. The game was long since it’s the semi-finals to nationals and the team was a strong one. He was so focused on the game that it wasn’t until the 9th inning when he finally felt the small vibration in his pocket. He flipped his phone open and the screen showed that he had 7 missed calls and a text message from Mito-san, saying that he needs to call back as soon as possible. There were no voicemails though. He decided to call her right away since she was supposed to come see the game with Kite.  


It took a while, but he heard her answer the phone. “Killua…” Her voice was barely louder than a whisper, something was definitely off. “Killua is Gon there?”  


“He’s in the middle of the game right now, we’re losing,” he paused, “Is something wrong Mito-san?”  


“It’s just that-,” her voice broke and the sound of soft sobbing growing louder and louder until Killua had to remove himself from the stands. “Kite is…Kite-,”  


“What’s wrong with Kite?” Killua could feel his heart pumping faster than before as panic set in. He automatically assumed the worst case scenario imaginable.  


“We…We got into an accident and-,” she sniffled. “Oh, Killua he protected me a-and received most of the damage,” her composure started to break again. “He’s in ICU and we…we don’t know if he’ll be alright. He’s stable right now but…but he can take a turn for the worst at any m-moment.”  


He took a deep breath, trying to stay in control of his composure so to not bother her, “I’ll tell the coach so Gon and I-,”  


“No! Please don’t tell Gon! Not until the game is over, please.”  


“But Mito-san…” Killua’s throat burned, “He’s going to hate me,” he wanted to say it but his voice wouldn’t come out. Not only did he have to worry about his family hurting Gon, but now he would be the sole culprit.  


“I’m sorry Killua for making you do this…”  


Killua shook his head rapidly, trying to clear up his thoughts, “Well…” He swallowed the lump in his throat, “I-It’s already the 9th inning so we’ll be there within an hour.”  


“Thank you Killua…I’m so glad that Gon has a friend like you.”  


“It’s no problem…really,” he felt his chest become lighter. “I’m the one who should be grateful,” he thought.  


“Please make sure not to leave his side Killua, you’re the only one who can keep him calm.”  


He didn’t realize it, but tears were already falling down his face, “I will.” He didn’t know how to tell her that he will have to leave his side soon, but he didn’t want to. He wanted to stay, but he could say it because he would be putting Gon in danger and who attracted danger the most?  


They both hung up and during the rest of the game, Killua was on edge, his phone almost breaking in his tight grip. He told her to text him if Kite’s situation becomes worse, he would have no choice but to take Gon with him and rush to the hospital they’re at. However, the message never came. He assumed that meant it was going alright so far and that the two of them could make it in time. He always expected the worse in everything, but for once Killua hoped.  


Nothing good ever comes out of me hoping, the only thing that matters is my despair.  


The look on Gon’s face made him feel as if he was the worst thing in existence. Gon’s eyes darkened and his expression was unreadable. The entire ride was full of a deafening silence even the sound of the thunder roaring in the heavens wasn’t louder than his beating heart. Killua wouldn’t dare to break the silence between them. He was scared. He was scared that Gon would break if he did as little as even breathe in his direction. He was so scared.  


I was so scared that if I touched you, everything we had built would crumble. Just like the sandcastle we made that got washed away. Nothing good ever comes from being with me because everything I touch turns into dust.  


However, once they reached the hospital, it was already too late.

-x-x-

They got an hour after Kite’s heart monitor flat lined and Gon wouldn’t even look at anything but the sheet on top of Kite’s lifeless body. He didn’t utter a sound, not until he left the room and walked out of the hospital. He didn’t stop until the tall building was out of view.  


Killua had followed him the entire way, worried for his safety. He never saw Gon like that before and promised himself to never let him get that way. He looked as soulless as he felt before they met each other. He braced himself for the pain he knew was coming, but no physical pain came. Instead it was all psychological.  


Gon finally turned around, his eyes lost. “Who…Who do you think you are?” He raised his arm to punch Killua in the jaw, but stopped at the highest point. “If the game had ended sooner…we almost would have made it…if you had told me sooner…then this…then I wouldn’t feel like this!” He took a deep breath, “What gives you the right to make decisions for me huh?!”  


“Gon…” Killua reached out to his best friend, “I’m sorry Gon, I didn’t mean to-,” but Gon slapped his hand away and stood with tears streaming down his face, his nose already becoming stuffy.  


Blood was already streaming out of his tightened fist, “You must have it so easy Killua…You can always remain calm because it means nothing to you!” He slapped his outreached hand, his blood splattering onto Killua’s. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again! Leave and don’t ever come back!” He screamed at the top of his lungs and ran back to the hospital, leaving Killua behind with no happy thoughts to keep himself sane because now he was left alone with no one else to blame.  


“I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry Gon!” Killua shouted with tears streaming down his face, his chest becoming increasingly heavy, he tried to gasp for air. He couldn’t breath as if he was submerged in a deep ocean, no matter how hard he tried to rise above his doubts and insecurities, there was a weight holding him back, making him sink farther…farther down into the darkest depths of despair. He screamed again as he kneeled on the cold dirty ground, his hands becoming tainted, as if it reflected his corrupted soul.  


“If only I had told him sooner. I wouldn’t have hurt Gon so badly…I promised myself not to let him get hurt and yet I’m the one who dealt the final blow.” He was going to tell him about his family moving, that he didn’t want to leave, that their friendship was what he cared most about. That Gon was the most important person in his life and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him and he almost got to. He almost verbally told him that he was there to protect him from everything bad and evil, but it turns out that he’s the worst kind of evil out there.  


“Pick me up Illumi,” Killua immediately called Illumi. He didn’t even need to see his expressionless face to know that he was happy that things turned out this way. He apparently already packed everything up and was ready to depart at any given moment, which was suspicious, but Killua didn’t care. There was no reason for him to stay there anyway. There was nothing holding him back…nothing left to even protect. He didn’t dare to wait a second longer; he didn’t even send a goodbye message to him. He almost did, but he didn’t. He almost tried to go back to see him one last time, he almost did…but he just couldn’t.  


I’m not worthy to be beside you and now I know that I never will be, since you yourself were the one to tell me.  


The two brothers returned to the main Zoldyck household, high up on a mountain in Hokkaido, the best location for the Zoldyck’s secret lair. They needed to keep themselves hidden since a peaceful life for such cruel humans is forbidden.

-x-x-

**Author's Note:**

> I like to think I’m a sadist, but I also feel like this wasn't sad enough.


End file.
